Writing your own wedding vows can seem intimidating, but it really is not as hard as it looks or sounds. Here are some simple steps that can be used as a guide for you to follow to help you along.
DISCUSS WITH EACH OTHER:
You will hopefully want to make sure that your fiancé would like to write his/her own vows too. So talk with each other first about this.
You might also want to see if your fiancé would like to have a “combined” vow that you both will say, or whether you would like to have two individual vows that you write each.
Also discuss, if you’re writing them separately, if you might like to share them with each other before the wedding, or not.
And chat with your celebrant as she can help you on your way!
STARTING OUT:
You will possibly want to have a little quiet time to sit & have a think about a rough draft.
Look through other examples of vows – traditional, funny, unique etc. Your "A Beautiful Ceremony" Celebrant can help you with some pre-written examples if you want! But if need be, look on the internet too, or ask family & friends if they have any suggestions. Again, talk with your fiancé too – you will probably be able to help each other in gathering thoughts & stories to re-tell.
Think about what sort of mood you want the vows to be in; affectionate & loving, humorous yet touching, poetic and romantic..
Possibly one of the best ways to get started is to think about a specific time or moment in your lives together.
Perhaps it was when you first met, that first chat, the first (proper) date, a holiday – maybe one that was really great or one that was a complete disaster!
The proposal, is always a nice obvious event to think about, or when you moved into the same house.
If you take yourself back to one, or a couple, of these events, you may find that you can more easily think about how you were feeling about each other at that particular moment.
Just like at school, when you were writing an essay, make a plan on how the vow will read.
Think about “PAST – PRESENT – FUTURE”
For example; first say how you met & how you felt about your fiancé then, then how you are as a couple now, and move onto what you would like to see in your future together.
Ask yourself questions about your life together - the classic "Where did we meet?", "What attracted me to you?", "What you do that makes me happy?" (and so on)... and jot down the answers. Even if you do not use these first answers – they still may help lead onto others that you do use.
PUTTING IT TOGETHER:
Once you start writing your first initial thoughts and answering your questions about your partner - it might just be a bit of a jumbled mess. That’s fine. But now you will need to start to piece it all together. So look through what you have written.
Underline any key words, themes, or sentences that stand out.
Edit any words or passages which you feel you might like to include.
Move the order around if you need to. (Past, Present, Future!)
Now you need to bring it all together.
Begin with something pretty heart-felt. Something along the lines of how long you have known or loved him/her. What does he/she makes you feel like.
The next section, say something about how you have gotten to know him/her, how you have come to love him/her, what he/she means to you. Say some words about him/her personality, smile, laugh, the mess she/he makes in the kitchen, quirky traits.
You can also say about what marrying him/her will mean to you. What are you looking forward to. Say how you both will over-come hard times or difficult situations together. Always stay positive!
Finish up with what you hope your future together will be. And end the vow off with words of love.
At the end of the day, just keep it real. You are trying to say: why you love her/him, why you want to spend your future with him/her, how she/he makes you feel and what you’ll do to make her/him happy.
Start with the past – working your way to the future.
FINISHING:
The main aim of writing your own vows is about getting some of your own thoughts and feelings down on paper so you can say them during your ceremony, to your partner.
You do not have to be Shakespeare. It doesn't matter if you start with a blank piece of paper - or if you use some help with pre-written words. Creating something which you feel says the right words for YOU is what you are aiming to do. And the most important piece of help - ask your "A Beautiful Ceremony" Celebrant!! We will help you to create something beautiful which will be meaningful to you both.
Happy Writing!